That Time I Accidentally Booked a "Happy Endings" Massage (And 5 Ways To Avoid This Happening To You!)

Warning: This article includes discussions of sexual assault.

I still can't believe this happened to me... I've been getting massages my entire life, and I definitely didn't know that places like this even existed. But, I learned the hard way! So, let's talk about that time I accidentally booked a "happy endings massage" (Google it if you don't know), and the red flags so you can avoid this happening to you! If you prefer visuals, check out my TikTok about the experience.

Here’s my list of what I think you should look for if you ever find yourself in my situation:

Red Flag #1: They're open late hours.

I called to book my massage at 9pm…and they were open. Granted, I booked my appointment for 10AM, but the vast majority of legitimate massage businesses don't work late every night of the week.

Red Flag #2: They don't give you a waiver or ask for your information.

When I walked into my appointment, they immediately walked me back. I was really surprised by this, because if a massage therapist hurts you during the massage, they could be liable. They also didn't ask what was bothering me pain-wise, if I had previous health conditions, etc.

Red Flag #3: They don't have licenses displayed.

Some places may just not display them, but you can always ask for their license number. I didn't see any on the walls.

Red Flag #4: It just feels...sketchy.

There were only curtains, no doors. Each room had two beds, but fortunately I was alone. I heard a male walking by my curtain mid-massage. The entire place felt dark and, honestly, illegal. It wasn't relaxing, it just felt icky. Listening to your instinct is key. I've also be warned by places with neon signs or large notices saying they don't do sexual massages.. because that's just a way of making it harder to catch them.

Red Flag #5 (the obvious one): They cross lines or touch you inappropriately.

The weirdest and most triggering part of the massage was when the masseuse removed my underwear - quickly and without permission. Any legitimate massage therapist knows to respect the boundaries of the clothing you decide to leave on.

However, this masseuse ripped off my underwear and proceeded to sit on my thighs. I was extremely uncomfortable.

Honestly, I didn't gain the confidence to say "no" until she walked out to go to the restroom. It was humiliating and degrading. Only afterwards could I laugh about all the red flags I missed. It's definitely a lesson learned. I can't blame the masseuse. While I wish they had communicated with me, I know she was only doing her job. Sadly, most of the women in massage parlors like this one are being trafficked. More information can be found here.

If you follow me on social media, you know that crazy things happen to me all the time. Whether you enjoy the funny stories, or you want to learn from my mistakes, be sure to click on the pictures below and follow me on social media.